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Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Just a note to my friends...

It's been a year and a half since I last posted. So much has happened in that time. I've had another baby, moved twice, and gone through another deployment. I've gained some weight, lost some weight, and now I'm stagnant. It's about twice as hard to make the time to exercise now that I have two kids. I always feel that the time could be better spent, that I'm taking that time from my kids, or from the house and chores, or from my husband. I rationalize that I'm healthier than I was when I first started this journey, but deep down I know that's not enough. I want to set the proper example for my children so they don't have the same problems I've had. I don't want them to have to work so hard to form healthy habits.


I feel like the same woman who lost 50 pounds, the one who is confident in herself and not ashamed of her body, but when I look in the mirror I'm disappointed. I know I can be better. I know it'll sound strange, but my self-image has actually improved after having children. I can see my body for all it does -- the stretched out tummy that housed two growing babies for 9 months, the chest that has fed my newest for 7 months, the arms that carry babies and hold my pre-schooler when only Mommy will do. 

This isn't about being skinny; this is about living up to the standards I've set for myself. It's the extra headaches, tiredness, moodiness, and back pain that have found a way to creep into my life again, even though I know what to do about them. It's that feeling that I've let myself down. 

I'm heading back out on this journey starting today. I know I have friends who are still on this journey. It's a life-time commitment, isn't it? So many things in life are. If you are fighting along too, or thinking about it, would you drop me a line? Let me know you are there. Pass me some encouraging words, perhaps something that has helped you. 

Thanks for reading, friends! Thanks for always encouraging me and seeing me for more than my weight. Love you all! Let's start this new year right!